Title Needed
by frooootSNACKS
Summary: After realizing, things come and go too quicky, Spike seeks out Buffy in Rome. (set after both Buffy and Angel shows have ended) forgive me for the shortness of chapters, thats just the style of this series and they will get longer as it progresses.
1. Words Dont Express Enough

He swayed in the doorway, unsure whether to knock or not. It was stupid for him not to, he did travel all this way, after all. With a deep breath, he lifted his hand, but a swift exhale later, it was back down at his side. He couldn't do this. He knew it wouldn't work. Giving up, he turned in the doorway, ready to head home to New York but the door creaked open, and she stepped out. Caught totally off guard, they stood dumbfounded on the threshold to her apartment, incapable of speech but eyes wide with conversation. With only another moment of hesitation, he continued to walk away, his black leather duster floating behind him with every stride.  
"Spike!" she called after him as she began to run, "Spike?" She grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him towards her. He wasn't much taller than her, and he never had been, but it worked out for her now. She could look directly into his eyes, and that's exactly what she needed, she new his eyes never lied.  
"Spike?"  
"Hello, Buffy" he said with a sigh. "How have you been?" 


	2. No Pressure Over Cappucino

The small coffee house was silently humming with the staccato conversations of it's patrons. Spike felt so of place while Buffy seemed to blend in perfectly. Everyone there knew her by name, and even their waiter seemed to be smitten with her. Spike actually was jealous of them. She twirled her spoon in the drink, staring at it for a moment, then lying it back down on the table. She looked up at him, her eyes glassy from held back tears.  
"How come you never called to tell me?" She asked, trying her best to conceal the hurt in her voice.  
He looked down at his hands, which he nervously folded on his lap. He could feel his heart racing, he smiled._ He could feel his heart racing_. Oh, how he ached to tell her everything. But he couldn't. Not right now. He had to start from the beginning.  
"I wasn't sure how you would react." He said truthfully.  
"Yeah, me neither." She said quietly.  
An awkward silence followed that statement and the both darted their eyes, suddenly finding the table tops and coffee cups amazingly interesting.  
"I'm sorry" he told her. And she suddenly she directed her attention to him again. He had never once said he was sorry. _Not once_. But he just did. He had traveled hundreds of miles to see her, and to _apologize_. She didn't know what to say.  
He saw her struggle for words, so he quickly began to talk again. "Let's start from the beginning." 


	3. Just As Much As She Did

Her coffee cup had long gone dry, but she put the thick ceramic to her lips and tried to drink anyway. Slowly, everything Spike had just said was beginning to sink in, and given time, she actually believed she would be able to comprehend it all. But not right now. Right now the words bounced around her head like undecipherable hieroglyphics.  
Spike had noticed her staring off into space, but made every effort to avoid looking at her. He wasn't ready to see her reaction, not yet, so he focused on his hands once again. His hands were more predictable that Buffy was.  
_He didn't notice her crying_, she thought as she sunk lower in the crushed velvet seat. And that just made her cry even more.  
She sniffed. Spike looked up, shocked, and immediately got up and went to comfort her. She wiped a tear on her sleeve and pushed him away.  
"No" she smiled. "I think I'm happy." Spike didn't understand but backed away just the same. She laughed as she cried even more, "I'm fine, these are happy tears. Happy." She realized what she had just said. _She was happy. _Was she?_ She was so confused. Her life was slowly calming down, and then Spike comes bringing up so much of the past. He was alive. He was a champion. He was human. But...oh, _but what? She rested her head on her hands and began to bite her nails as she mentally tried to sort out her feelings.  
_ You were happy. Life was good. Life was simple. Spike died. You were getting over it. But Spike comes back. It's now almost a year later and you find out that the man that you spent so much time trying to forget is back. _How do you feel about this?  
_I think I'm happy. I missed him. But a part of me doesn't want him back either. Life with him was almost always followed by hurt._ I don't like hurt.  
She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. _But he's human. Human. Once again he risked his life to save the world, and this time he was rewarded. He fulfilled the Sanshu prophecy, he was human again. Oh, she wanted him back in her life so badly. She really did feel for him, if not love, but it was something._  
She opened her eyes and looked back up at him. "I need time" she said. This she was confident about. The one thing her mind was telling her that she knew was absolutely true. She needed time.  
He nodded in approval. He had time, not forever anymore, but just as much as she did. He smiled,_ just as much as she did_. 


	4. The Barriers that Light Break

Although the streets still held onto the memory of the bright August sun, the streetlamps began to flicker on anyway. Now, with the added light, the two people quietly concealed by the shadows were visible to the night. Engaged in conversation with faces as expressionless as stone, she motioned for him to come upstairs. He shook his head, horrified at the invitation, but she smiled and corrected him. He blushed as he focused on the cobblestone street and nodded in acceptable. He followed her into the lavish apartment complex, and a few steps up the stairs, she turned. Her hair whirled around, suspended in the warm air for a moment, and she smiled. _An honest, happy, smile._


End file.
